If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Recently, I was speaking with a few of my friends and we began to reminisce about our 20s. As we began looking over our lives there was a common theme of “I wish I would’ve known then what I know now.” The conversation was extensive; however, I am going to provide 5 of the most common “I wish someone would’ve told me…”(not given in any particular order)

  1. Love yourself.
    • Knowing this would’ve kept me from accepting the wrong people in my life.
    • This would’ve helped me have the confidence I needed to go after my dreams.
    • Knowing this would’ve kept me from having bad images of myself.
  2. Save money and don’t touch it.
    • Knowing this would’ve prepared me for financial emergencies.
    • Starting out would’ve been less of a struggle if there was a financial foundation.
    • I would’ve been able to focus on my dreams instead of living paycheck to paycheck.
  3. Seek mentorship.
    • Finding someone doing what I wanted to do such as starting a business, I would’ve received first hand education of the do’s and don’ts.
    • Having someone to keep me accountable regarding my dreams or goals, I would’ve achieved them.
    • Knowing that I had support would’ve removed the self-doubt.
  4. When you fail, assess what happened, repent and keep it moving. Don’t dwell in your mistakes.
    • Knowing this would’ve given me the power to overcome my failures quickly.
    • I wouldn’t have lived in condemnation for years which only brought shame and guilt.
    • Knowing this would’ve released me from being stuck in my past to soaring into my future without reservation.
  5. God loves you no matter what you have done.
    • Knowing that His love and forgiveness is freely given to you builds your self-esteem and faith.
    • Knowing this would’ve allowed me to live in freedom and not condemnation.
    • This would’ve made me believe I was loveable which in turn would’ve eliminated low self-esteem.

Even though we cannot turn back the hands of time, we can share this information with our own daughters, nieces, god-daughters, youth group, son’s girlfriends, etc. We are the amazingly strong women today because of the things we experienced, but we all believe that we would be further ahead in life if we hadn’t stayed stuck in our pasts. Life is too short to not continue moving forward in it. Our past, is just that, our past. Nothing we can do to change it, but we can decide how we will continue to deal with it. God did not make a mistake when he created you or wrote your story. He has equipped you to overcome every adversity that will come your way. The problem is that most of us have disconnected ourselves from Him; therefore, we don’t know what we are made of.

Maybe you are struggling to find your way in this life or to overcome your mistakes. I am a witness that if you seek God with your questions He will indeed answer. Just like number 5 states, He loves us no matter what. Talk to Him today I know He would be glad to hear from you.

We compiled a list of over 50 things we wish someone would’ve told us and that list is still in process. Maybe the 5 I have listed will help you get unstuck. Maybe this list can help others as well. I may add them to another blog post or create an Ebook. Either way I want to help people overcome whatever may be holding them back from their purpose. Let’s get over our pasts so we can help others overcome theirs.

We Need You

This is a letter to all fathers. We need you to be involved with the raising of our children. Not just the financial support, but the shaping of their lives. As a mom of two sons (one is an adult and one is a toddler) I have already experienced the side effects of having a father that is not as involved as he could be. I watched my oldest son struggle with self esteem issues, transition from a boy to a man without having a constant reminder of what a good man should reflect, struggling to find himself because we live in a world where dysfunction is the norm. Dads, we need you. We need to show that boy what it is to be a man and that daughter how she should be treated by a man.

We need you to speak life into your children daily. Tell them that they can do, be, and achieve whatever they put their minds to. Tell them that they are good enough, creative, smart, handsome, beautiful and strong. Tell them you, their father loves them. When you speak into their lives you help block out the lies they will be told by haters, enemies and society. Your daughters won’t be tricked by the smooth talking, good for nothing man that tries to take advantage of her. Your sons won’t be deceived by the lies their bosses or coaches tell them.

They will hear your voice over the nay sayers. We need you to teach, talk, motivate, inspire cheer, discipline, love and encourage them. We need you to be in their lives guiding them to greatness and lifting them up when they fall. Be there to pray for them and teach them how to pray for themselves. We need you. As a mom I can teach alot, but I can’t teach my sons how to be a man. Dad, we need you.

First blog post

This is my first post! I have wanted to blog for sometime now so I stopped dreaming about it and decided to do it!

What have you been dreaming about? Or have you been dreaming at all?  Just recently, within the last few months, I started dreaming again. Dreaming about living happy, healthy, whole and prosperous. The thing is that I couldn’t keep dreaming about it, I had to finally take action. But before I could take action I began to seek God to get clarity in my purpose. I grew tired of doing things my way, climbing the corporate ladder only to still be unfulfilled.  I have been paid well; however, after the first year or so of a new position I start to get that feeling, you know, the feeling that there has to be more to life than this!

I started looking back at previous jobs trying to see what I liked and disliked about each of them. It seemed that the jobs I liked most were the ones that I was coaching, facilitating workshops, educating, or developing others to achieve their goals or next level in life. To sum it all up, I was serving others. This brought me the greatest joy. Watching others achieve their financial goals after attending my workshops or one-on-one money management coaching sessions, assisting family and friends with problems and finding solutions, helping single mothers find the resources they needed to take better care of their children.

So, of course when I started seeking God for my purpose, he started showing me what was in me all the time. That I was born to educate, inspire, encourage, coach and mentor. The problem is that I was looking for the big paycheck instead of seeking God. There is nothing wrong with a big paycheck, please don’t get me wrong. But having the big paycheck without fulfillment left me feeling null and void. I now have an idea of my purpose, now I had to figure out how to make a living doing it. Which caused me to get stuck. I knew I was supposed to write a book, but I thought I was to write a fictional book. I would dream about the characters, their situations, etc. However, when it came time to write I would draw a blank. So I was led to find a coach. I was not on social media or anything, but I was led by God to get on twitter, then from twitter I found Periscope. Here is where I found a spirit led woman by the name of Asha Tyson. I watched her tell her story of how she overcame adversity being homeless at 17 and retired at 26. This of course caught my attention. A month or so after watching her she announced a coaching program. This was an investment I had to make. This has changed my outlook!

My coaching sessions with her identified the real reason I was stuck. FEAR. I was trying to write a fictional story because I was fearful of telling or writing my own story. My story? All my mistakes, bad decisions, issues and problems? “Yes, because you overcame them all”, Asha said. She then gave me a pre-writing assignment regarding my life. That night I wrote 10 pages! I would draw blanks before, but now the writing flows. Purpose!

Are you still dreaming? Not dreaming at all? Stuck on the “how to”part of operating in your purpose? Not moving forward because of fear? It’s time to do it! Do it in fear, do it with what you already have, do it even though things are not perfect, do it, do it do it! The world is waiting on you. Somebody somewhere is waiting to hear your story or read your blog. Maybe you need a coach or mentor to get you unstuck. Whatever it is, Do It.